She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
40s are totally the cure
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
