i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
