She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
