I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
