I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
