Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
