I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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