I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We need to get me chipped asap
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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