he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
