I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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