Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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