Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
