ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
