Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
