Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize