how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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