And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
