They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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