You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
