who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
