i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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