we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i've created a new STD.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
