i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
