too bad you live with your parents still
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
please come you make the beer taste better
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this boner is exhausting
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
