So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
