And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
