I heard we made out
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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