my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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