girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
