Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
