was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize