I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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