You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize