i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
