once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize