Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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