I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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