I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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