You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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