some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
