You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
