He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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