Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
