The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
