Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
