I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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