she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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