He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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