How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
