when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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