haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
