i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
