Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize