Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize