i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
