lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
