It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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