I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I've blown a few things in my day
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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