I think my fart just growled at me.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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