I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
